14-03-2019 às 22:06
Who burnt the MotoE bikes? We point fingers
We learnt today the rather shocking news that the entire fleet of MotoE bikes have all been destroyed in a suspicious fire at Jerez. Thankfully no one was hurt in the blaze.
The smoke and pollution-free bikes caused a mass cloud of hideous smokey pollution as 18 electric machines and their surroundings burnt to the ground n the Jerez paddock. So far there has been no news of the cause of the fire leaving a strong smell of suspicion (and lithium) in the air.
We at MGPN are never shy of digging deeper than most to uncover the inconvenient truth. Like the time we found out Mick Doohan’s haircut is actually voluntary. So, with that in mind, we have compiled a list of top suspects in the case.
Bono
If there’s one thing Bono loves more than saving the planet it’s telling everyone he’s saving the planet. The pint-sized buffoon never misses a chance to get on TV to help inform us what he’s up to, how much he cares and why he is a better person than us all. Then there’s just time to release a crappy, generic song with all profits going to his and his band’s Swiss bank account.
What Bono doesn’t like, however, is people stepping on his very small, child-like shoes. And it looks even worse if they’re actually helping the planet and not just poncing around indoors in dated sunglasses for selfless self-promotion reasons.
It’s rumoured that the miniature moron was furious with Formula E executives for ignoring his sensible suggestion of having the image of his face on the front each car depicting a scene with Archangel Gabriel. With MotoE also failing to recognise him as the planet’s saviour maybe this was a warning shot across Dorna’s bows?
Isis
Electric vehicles spell the end of the funds for the oil rich countries in the Middle East. In the future we will all have electric cars making our cities cleaner and our countrysides horrendously polluted with the new power stations having to be built for all the extra electricity consumption. This quite literal shift of power could dry up the funds of the terrorist group.
Could this fire at Jerez be an attempt to sew the seeds of doubt into the minds of the public to the safety of electric vehicles? If the prospect of your car going up like a Samsung tablet every night then maybe we’ll stick with oil a bit longer?
Mission Winnow
The controversial sponsor is keen to distance themselves from actual cigarettes and from any ‘Prost vs Senna’ memory flashbacks we may have when viewing their sponsorship. They are keen, however, to promote e-cigarettes – the friendly alternative available in many delicious fruit flavours to help youngsters get on the smoking ladder.
So what better way to promote their brand than an electrical fire caused by an electrical cigarette? Well probably any other way to be honest. But maybe if the sub-message is that electricity is dangerous then maybe Mission Winnow owners may sway the public’s mind into believing that smoking tobacco is safer?
Sete Gibernau
The ex-clown of MotoGP sensationally announced last year that he’s giving up touring with his band Puddle of Mudd and instead racing MotoE.
Since that announcement though it could have easily dawned on Gibbers that he’s not very fast anymore and the prospect of being beaten by back-marking Bradley Smith may make him look sillier than his haircut. The fact he’s already had the attention he needed from the announcement means he’d be better off if the racing never happens.
Repsol
Repsol spend big in MotoGP and have been visually integral to the sport since the 80s. The Spanish oil giants have a huge clout in everything that happens in MotoGP but would lose almost everything and become a joke should the series switch to electric. A electric switch may be many years away but a cheeky fire, spread using their own subsidised fuel, could be just the start of a series of suspicious setbacks for MotoE.
We learnt today the rather shocking news that the entire fleet of MotoE bikes have all been destroyed in a suspicious fire at Jerez. Thankfully no one was hurt in the blaze.
The smoke and pollution-free bikes caused a mass cloud of hideous smokey pollution as 18 electric machines and their surroundings burnt to the ground n the Jerez paddock. So far there has been no news of the cause of the fire leaving a strong smell of suspicion (and lithium) in the air.
We at MGPN are never shy of digging deeper than most to uncover the inconvenient truth. Like the time we found out Mick Doohan’s haircut is actually voluntary. So, with that in mind, we have compiled a list of top suspects in the case.
Bono
If there’s one thing Bono loves more than saving the planet it’s telling everyone he’s saving the planet. The pint-sized buffoon never misses a chance to get on TV to help inform us what he’s up to, how much he cares and why he is a better person than us all. Then there’s just time to release a crappy, generic song with all profits going to his and his band’s Swiss bank account.
What Bono doesn’t like, however, is people stepping on his very small, child-like shoes. And it looks even worse if they’re actually helping the planet and not just poncing around indoors in dated sunglasses for selfless self-promotion reasons.
It’s rumoured that the miniature moron was furious with Formula E executives for ignoring his sensible suggestion of having the image of his face on the front each car depicting a scene with Archangel Gabriel. With MotoE also failing to recognise him as the planet’s saviour maybe this was a warning shot across Dorna’s bows?
Isis
Electric vehicles spell the end of the funds for the oil rich countries in the Middle East. In the future we will all have electric cars making our cities cleaner and our countrysides horrendously polluted with the new power stations having to be built for all the extra electricity consumption. This quite literal shift of power could dry up the funds of the terrorist group.
Could this fire at Jerez be an attempt to sew the seeds of doubt into the minds of the public to the safety of electric vehicles? If the prospect of your car going up like a Samsung tablet every night then maybe we’ll stick with oil a bit longer?
Mission Winnow
The controversial sponsor is keen to distance themselves from actual cigarettes and from any ‘Prost vs Senna’ memory flashbacks we may have when viewing their sponsorship. They are keen, however, to promote e-cigarettes – the friendly alternative available in many delicious fruit flavours to help youngsters get on the smoking ladder.
So what better way to promote their brand than an electrical fire caused by an electrical cigarette? Well probably any other way to be honest. But maybe if the sub-message is that electricity is dangerous then maybe Mission Winnow owners may sway the public’s mind into believing that smoking tobacco is safer?
Sete Gibernau
The ex-clown of MotoGP sensationally announced last year that he’s giving up touring with his band Puddle of Mudd and instead racing MotoE.
Since that announcement though it could have easily dawned on Gibbers that he’s not very fast anymore and the prospect of being beaten by back-marking Bradley Smith may make him look sillier than his haircut. The fact he’s already had the attention he needed from the announcement means he’d be better off if the racing never happens.
Repsol
Repsol spend big in MotoGP and have been visually integral to the sport since the 80s. The Spanish oil giants have a huge clout in everything that happens in MotoGP but would lose almost everything and become a joke should the series switch to electric. A electric switch may be many years away but a cheeky fire, spread using their own subsidised fuel, could be just the start of a series of suspicious setbacks for MotoE.
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